by Tina Smith M.Ed., LPC

It is commonplace for many people to become financially stressed during and after the holidays. Seeing smiles and gratitude when giving gifts you have spent days planning produces a moment of joy for the giver. However, what is being purchased is just a moment of JOY. Sometimes this joy comes with the price of neglecting or burdening our other financial obligations.

But consider that the most valuable gift you have is your TIME. Time spent with loved ones is priceless. If you could spend another moment with a loved one who has passed on, you would probably give everything. One more hug, one last kiss, or an infectious laugh has no monetary value. I urge and encourage those of you who struggle in this area to learn to break free from allowing your emotions to control your finances during the holidays and consider gifts that are heartfelt and long-lasting.  Begin to implement tools to help with both emotional and financial control to regain peace of mind.   

Wise-mind is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) therapeutic tool used to understand the balance between emotional and reasoning thinking that can help you with financial situations.  Think of a balancing scale with emotion on one end and logic on the other.  Now imagine going shopping without limits because the holidays are approaching.  You feel the excitement and moments of joy while considering everyone who deserves a special gift.  Family members, close neighbors, and coworkers are just a few that come to mind.  Moreover, the weight of logic on this balancing scale slowly begins to rise and become less noticeable until the bills become due or an unforeseen emergency loom in the distance.  Your emotions may begin to convince you to ignore logic for now.  In the meantime, logic is desperately trying to nudge you to consider setting some limits before it is too late.  Wise-mind helps us to balance the scale by giving attention to both logic and emotions.

As I talk with clients in my practice, especially teens, they express a desire for quality time. Remember that the most valuable gift you should give is your time. Take time this season to spend with family, call a friend, visit a nursing home, or volunteer at a homeless shelter. By doing so you will disperse or receive more JOY than you could ever imagine.