By Tina Smith, M.Ed., LPC

Do you ever tell yourself “I’m just not happy” or “I don’t know how to be happy.” If so, you are not alone. It seems like an epidemic and commonplace to feel a sense of being unhappy more often than happy. We tend to give weight to the negative and often painful events in our lives while the joyful events become distant memories.

Reflect for a moment on the last occasion or event where you felt the most joy. Was it the anticipated arrival of a new family member, marrying the love of your life, or receiving an unbelievable opportunity that gave you a sense of joy? Now hold on to this thought for a moment and reflect deeper while tapping into the physical sensations that come with each anticipated step within this moment. Do you recall releasing joyful tears, a pounding in your heart with anticipation, or exciting nervousness? Now reflect on how you felt when you gave someone something that was received with joy and thanksgiving. Notice the recurring theme of “receiving and/or giving” as you reflect on these moments.

Sadly, we tend to lose sight of the joyful feelings when other events take center stage. It could be as simple as the daily routines of life or a horrific life-changing event. If you are struggling to find happiness once again, I urge and encourage you to go back to the recurring theme of “giving and receiving.”  I am reminded of the Christmas season of how God gave for us to receive his son, Jesus Christ. So that we may have life, and life more abundant. Find ways to give and begin to receive the seemingly contagious joy you notice in others. Small gestures and tokens of appreciation tend to go a long way to someone in need. Coffee with a friend, a visit or phone call to a lonely grandparent, or babysitting for a mother so that she can have a moment to relax are meaningful ways to give. While doing so, notice and appreciate the joy and happiness that is displayed before you.